The learning journey....

When i was offered as an officer, i'm just optimist and leave Serdang with Doa' that my journey will be smooth to reduce the burden of my family and other siblings in their studies......

When i registered on the first day, the Top Personnel at that moment is not happy because they are expected to receive male officer. I'm not really sure why, but since the HQ already send me there...they have to accept me. I was instructed to handle out-reach program while at the same time the management people make some arrangement to transfer me out (without my knowledge of coz). When the clerk revealed the news to me, i'm just quite and refuse to make any conclusion becoz i don't think in this era people still practice gender discrimination or preference...especially in my own country...(a very idealistic view from a fresh graduate :-D)

 I was called in the meeting room.....with Mr. Chairman and surrounded by the other Heads....doing second interview after SPA did....I'm still optimist and be calm....I was asked with so many questions but the last statement is the most interesting one... ;-)  

Mr. Chairman: "You are still very new....u have been chosen by SPA without our representative during the selection... look's like all the Head seems to like u.....but that doesn't mean i like u.."

Me: "It's ok Sir....i understand, we cannot force other people to like us..."

He look quite shocked with my answer.....maybe he didn't aspect me to answer him.....i'm cool, ask permission to go out and leave the room....still with  respect to the people that have the intention to investigate & judge me for nothing....just becoz i'm a young lady...not male as they preferred to have.... :-)

Few months after testing me with different kind of jobs and challenges, given projects and task with very minimal guidance......finally they realize that i'm tough and qualified enough to be ignored. When i received the letter to be transferred to other Department, the bosses start to feel that i'm suppose to be in their Division and decided to make me remain......what an 'interesting' experience i had yaa!....hihih....i'm about to laugh out loud!! LOL! But again, they make a joke by arranging the cancellation to transferred me out quietly... ;-D !! Really LOL!!! 

Being young and bold....with my aim to help my family.....i face the challenges and turning back is not an option....i know that i have to be strong...remain optimist and x want to waste my time by blaming my faith or get mad of people's ignorant....i choose to forgive them and move on...

Few years later, the Big Boss keep on changing and the recruitment or hiring process doesn't always involve the top management as they claim.... professionally done by JPA or SPA...nobody make noise and the candidates that passed the interview never been tested as i had....i'm just wonder why during my time it is like a BIG issues when there is nobody represent the top management during selection process. I'm also not sure who actually  influence the top management to have a preference on hiring male officer rather than woman officer......the politics in the office seems to be more interesting to watch ;-)

When lately there is some issues arise by the Auditor and certain people start to find other people's faults....i'm just smiling.....i'm aware....i know it is definitely unethical to simply give show cause letter to anybody that done nothing wrong......it is even worse to deliver the wrong statement/ information to the Higher Authority....lead to conflict and wrong judgement by others....

I'm certain with myself, my colleagues and operative personnel under my supervision...i know they have done their best.....even trying very hard to maintain everything as the number of visitors is overwhelm.....certain mechanisms have been queried.....but as a technical officer...is not my territory and it is far beyond my control.....the root cause of the problems must be identified and resolve quickly....

I believe that everyday is a learning journey for me......i'm optimist that the truth will be revealed  as "Allah  Maha Adil"...watching every single move we did...record every single words we said.....and He have warned:

"He raised up the heavens and set the Scale of Justice (so firmly) that you cannot play it false" (Surah 55:7-8)

Penawar hati....

Lately mama byk kerja....terpaksa balik lambat sikit.....slalu rasa tak sbr nk jumpa anak2...balik hr ni....tgk anak2 mama tgh mengaji....sejuk rasa hati....semoga menjadi anak yg soleh ~ menjadi penawar dukaku.....penyejuk hati....hartaku di dunia & akhirat.... ;-)

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InsyaAllah....

Glad that now we have a  firm KPP (P).....he seems to know many things & understand the situation better....anyway, everything is too soon to be judge...so far  things looks fine...

No matter what....need to be optimist....'langit tak selamanya mendung' ~ semoga dipermudahkan semuanya.....InsyaAllah.....

Green is a good color for relaxing ~ :-)

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Gegirl next door ~

Pagi2 Lil Diya sampai umah i dah....."Assalamualaikum......untie....Ian ada? Nak g main taman boyeh tak"...Hihihi...alahai....anak dara jiran depan umah ....Mat Salleh kata : "Lil Girl Next Door" ...heh.....kemain cantekk pagi2 dah mandi....pakai dress biru....siap hair band ~ ;-)  Cute laa pulokkkk.....

Kemaruk laa si Lil Ian nak pakai baju encemmm gaks.....hadoyyy....layankan je laa....pastuh dua2 budak kenit g main kat taman dgn baju tantek memasing.......with bibik of coz... :-) Bdk2 dua orang ni mmg rapat.....kalau masing2 balik kg pun....msg2 asyik sebut2 je.....dah teringat leww tuew...

Hihi....i love my neighborhood life ~ semangat kejiranan masih tinggi :-D so far, jiran2 sebelah umah, kiri kanan & depan belakang takde lagi laa yg perangai pelik2.....hv a high tolerance and sincerely protect each other.....Alhamdulillah ~ semoga berkekalan.....aminnnn :-)

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24 hours a day....

  I was waiting for a Majlis Ilmu last weekend and a beautiful young lady at middle of 30's enter the hall. She looks very cheerful and have a pleasant image. We started the kuliah with surah Al-Ikhlas and she started to talk about ethics.....a very interesting topic about human rights, freedom, woman, fair judgement, happiness index....everything sounds interesting to know.... :-)

Nobody knows that she just involve in an accident that morning and her car is badly damage....she looks stunning and fine....like nothing happen....for her...it is a pity for her to spoil the beautiful morning by arguing how the accident happen....he decided to be optimist....she leave it to the insurance company to handle....she added : we decide how we want to feel everyday.....sad or happy?

Talk about her life as a wife, mother of 3, a lecturer, a daughter & DIL.....everything looks so tight ya?? Tihihii.......maybe....and there are people (out side) watching at her and whisper: 'Hey...she seems to do everything, even have class during weekend? Aren't she feel tired? Have she cooked for her kids? Done the laundry? Enough time for her husband and maybe for herself?'

 Well.....do we  ever have enough time? Rasulullah s.a.w. also have given 24 hours a day.....same with us....yet, he manage to perform all the 'ibadah and done his duty that many of us may wonder how he did it......Qiyamullail, Solat Hajat, Solat Sunat, Solat Duha, Fasting......++ Allah.....u name it.....

Well....ok laaa.....that's Rasulullah....how about ordinary people like Tun Mahathir? Just wonder how he manage to think, work and done so many things in a day? 

Everybody is given 24 hours a day......what do we really do ya? What is more meaningful? Feel bored coz donno wht else to do? Or feel glade we manage to do  what we suppose to do? Is  it true that a busy woman like her give less attention to her kids and life? Is children with full time mummy is a guarantee to be better than children tht have a career mummy? How about a man? Househusband maybe? Do they exist in Malaysia? Dato' Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah didn't agree with this phenomena.....coz he believe that a man should go out and looking for the "rezeki"....

Well....how about a blogger? Everybody knows a daddy blogger enjoying his househusband title.....busy updating his blog everyday and look after his baby boy, caution about his masculine body.....waiting with patient for his wife to go home....and having a nice dinner together.....while he gain money from his blog.......hhmmmmm....interesting ~ people handling unique life ya!  ;-) 

I'm sure everybody have their own arguments.....i'll leave it for everybody to debate....as for me......for time being....i can't imagine my life without my career....i love to be a mom and bless to be a wife.....i enjoy cooking, baking, sewing, stitching and drawing......i also love to write...(maybe one day i could produce a novel?) Hmmmm.....that's a good idea....can be considered as one of my retiring plan.... :-)

  Everybody have their  own way to occupied their 24 hours/day.....either a housewife or a working mom....surely have plan on what to do....not to just sleep all day i believe...bored rite? or just shopping all day long....almost everyday? nothing else? will surely get bored......(for me maybe...huhuh ;-p) whatever it is....we should not judge a woman that hv a career and seems to do so many things can't handle their life or abandon their family.....do we know her capability on handling his life in balance? Yet, still have time for herself and enjoying her life better than us maybe? Hihihi..... ;-p

Whatever it is.... a wise mother should already know how to balance the time for herself and her lovely family.....everything that important for her will never been left behind....she will try her best to be fair to all her children and faithful to her husband wherever she goes.....maybe that's why Allah give woman a very high position as a Mother.....because Allah knows that woman can explore her maximum potential to handle many things.....complete the woman's life with a Man who will be responsible, taking care of her and help to make her life easier........MasyaAllah ~ Maha Suci Allah ~

With my hubby's bless, redha & doa'....plus redha & doa' from my mother....so far everything flow smoothly...my pray to Allah may everything become easier for me ....may the knowledge tht i gain...benefits me and others....to be apply in my daily life and work.....helping me to understand them better......why people with science background always think this way and the social people look at that way.....how to bridging the gaps and how science communication should come in the middle and benefit everybody....

Learning about something that related to my work help me to realize why certain people behave wrongly and feel nothing, yet i feel sympathy for them....teach me to have a fair judgement and hold my patient handling 1001 humans behaviors along the day....sounds weird hah? hahahha....it is...but tht's how i feel...i am more relax and peace in handling many issues that i face.... tq Allah ~ :-)

Aha...we may still look young today.....or we wnt to be young forever.....but Rasulullah did say : "Kebanyakan Umatku akan berumur antara 60~70 tahun"....time goes by so fast.... i am already past almost half of the golden age 60~70.....and what have i done with the past 33 years of my life? Is it good enough? Should i keep on dreaming? or wasting my time thinking that i'm still young and behave@ dress like i'm young all day n nite? Pretending that i'm still the sweet 17 that everybody will admire? Having fun all the time and do the same things as i did when i was 20's? Hahahhaha.....come on!!! *masa yang pergi tak akan kembali * we may miss all the chances that we have today..

How about choose to be realistic? Learn to be wise, look elegant & pleasant to carry the titles (as a wife, a mother and a career woman), suit our behave with our age and live the life peacefully......

For the next 2 years...i'll be double busy with my elder son's time table, his home work, schools.....plus his lil brother started the kindergarten....i should prepare a proper plan to suit their need later on....including spending more time for their school preparation....how abt my own plan then? My endless plan.....Hahahaha!....just wonder how it's gonna be...must be exciting....hhihi....

Ohhhhhh......it is getting even weird now.......i tend to love my life more and feel bless with what i had today......Tqvm Allah...for giving me the chance to live my life at the fullest! ;-D