Is He/She the rite one for me?

Do you remember when the last time u fall in love with your partner? What is the feeling at that time? Rasa rindu bagai nak giler? Dapat dengar suara pun jadilaaaa......dapat nampak bumbung umah pun dah cukup.....tak sabarrrnya rasa nak jumpa.......etc... :-P

What is the feeling now? After all the struggle both of u have gone through....how do u feel? Why some couple start to feel sour? No chemistry anymore....no feeling anymore....etc.? Why after certain years of marriage....u start to think...."is He/She is the rite for me?"

I come out of this topics not because i have problems with my hubby....hihihih....no....no....no....don't get me wrong.....(pray will not have any of 'em :-p).....just realize that there is a lot of couple out there that struggle to find the answer of their conflicts....or might be trap in the stressful situation....i love this n3 because it's make me think and i feel that i'm learn something from it.....*wink*

One day i came across an n3 about this issues on Datin Dr. Halina blog....i think it is very  interesting and i would like to share it to everybody.....(do not worry, i'm not plagiat her n3,  i have ask permission from Datin Dr. Halina to share this info and she is very kind to give her bless.... ;-D)


HERE'S THE ANSWER :

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because:

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..

**p/s : Credits to Datin. Dr. Halina for this beautiful n3.....cheers!

Closely engage.....

Hujung minggu skunk mama takde class....so....byk masa diabeskan utk close engagement bersama anak2....I notice....sejak 2 bulan kebelakangan ni.....bila iolz sentiasa ada kt umah on weekend....anak2 menjadi sgt rapat n kurang meragam......maybe derang rindu mama kot.....sikit2....."sayanggggggg mama" ;-) .....nak tdo pun mesti nak mama.....

Harap2 tahun ni tak laa busy sgt......abang pun da makin besar....kena pay attention untuk sekolah dia......ikutkan i.....takde laa nk paksa2 sgt.....just follow perkembangan dia je....coz kt PSN kan approach kitaorg lbh kpd informal learning....learn fr the environment.....kiranya bdk umur 3~6 tahun digalakkan lbh kepada  bermain sambil belajar....& get engage with the interactive exhibits.....not solely informal learning only....so...budak2 tak stress & lbh enjoy....

Tp concern gak dgn 'band' system kt sekolah nnt kan....wp serba sikit tau gak caner sistem tu....(dr explaination kwn iolz yg cikgu tu laaa...dia pernah ikut intensif course utk sistem 'band')....ikut tahap budak....tp fhm2 je la kan.....tak tahulah naik darjah satu nnt mcm mana...ianya byk tergantung kpd cikgu yang mengajar nnt....buatnya ada yg buat tak tahu jer....anak eden dok band 1 je laa nnt.....huhuh.....tak bo jadik ni.....so...wp tak setuju sgt bdk kecik2 kena latih tubi....iolz still kena monitor gak...bukan apa...takmo dia tertinggal kt kelas bila masuk sekolah tahun depan.....kesian anak mama nnt...

Antara cemburu dan hasad.....

Bijak pandai mengatakan....cemburu itu normal......jika masih boleh di kawal....cthnya; kita cemburu tengok kejayaan cemerlang A...kita pun mahu berjaya macam dia.....maka kita berusaha dgn bersungguh2 untuk jadi berjaya sepertinya....cemburu yg baik menjadi motivasi untuk bertindak dgn positif dan tidak malas....

Tp bagaimana pula jika cemburu itu bertukar menjadi hasad? Hasad itu apa? Hasad adalah penyakit jiwa....mereka tidak bo melihat org lain memiliki apa yg mereka tiada....wp apa yg dimiliki itu tidak pun mereka perlukan.....mereka sentiasa berfikir dan mencari jalan untuk menghancurkan org lain dan merasa puas hati jika org lain mendapat musibah atas perancangan mereka....perasaan hasad adalah satu penyakit dalam diri....mereka yg hasad sentiasa merasa "unsecure" dan berusaha bersungguh2 untuk menjatuhkan org lain yg dirasakannya berpotensi untuk mendahuluinya.....hatinya sentiasa tidak tenang dan hidupnya penuh kepura-puraan.....selalunya mereka akan menunjuk-nunjuk kemewahan dan kegembiraan....tp hakikatnya mereka tidak bahagia....penyakit hatinya akan terus melarat saban hari dan akhirnya dia akan merana kerana perasaan hasadnya sendiri bakal memakan diri....

Sayangilah diri kita.....hiduplah dengan keikhlasan dan ketenangan hati....jauhkan dari sifat hasad dan dengki......InsyaAllah kita akan diberkati....

Maafkanlah......

Prof. Dr Muhaya selalu pesan.....sebelum tidur....maafkan semua orang.....hidup akan lebih tenang....

So malam ni.....iolz nk maafkan semua org yg sakitkan hati iolz hari ni..... ;-) mungkin dia tak tahu macam mana nk sampaikan maksudnya.....bunyi mcm kasar dan penuh prasangka.....tp ikhlas barangkali.....takpe.....semua pun dah i maafkan......semoga Allah bukakan hati semua agar penuh dengan keikhlasan dan tiada prasangka.....jauhkan kita dari segala hasutan dan pengaruh tidak baik...semoga dapat kita tepiskan segala pembohongan dan salah faham.....InsyaAllah.....mudah perjalanan kita di dunia ini utk melaksanakan AMANAH yang diberikan..... :-) dan menjadikan segalanya satu ibadah yang penuh keberkatan...

Chilled! ;-)

Leadership....

I was in a meeting today.....the outcome not so great....we think BIG, but the Chairman maybe want something rather SMALL....it can be due to many reasons....but i don want to waste my time to think abt it....

"Why didn't u just suggest to me what's the best to be? Don't u advice me what am i suppose to do?...blablabla ~ be creative!! Do the best things with this small B**g*t.....make everybody understand also.....must lead all the staff....including other unit/department....together (maybe the whole organization)" ~ hihihihi....interesting rite? We didn't know that we are that big.....hihiihi ~  (ok...be optimist please ~ hiks!)

I'm not sure it should be *bomb to who....since there is other people in the meeting also....maybe focus to certain people....but whatever it is.....i need some space to inhale.....~ tarik nafassss....lepassss....*wink*.....hihii.....of coz i didn't write everything here......i understand. ~ cyber rules....let it be between 4 walls ~ :-) 

I remember what Tun Mahathir have said ~ "Be a leader with example....and make sure u make people do things that u are sure possible to be happen...or at least u know yourself can make it happen...." ~ fair statement ~  :-D 

 Anyway, life goes on.....leaders change every time and things gonna change again.....the new games will be introduced and played by certain people, rules will be different.....be prepared, stay optimist & be good to all....we can't live forever and let live our life at the fullest  ~ :-) ....Forgive them....they might be in deep stress with bigger burden....*sigh*

Whatever it is....ELECTION is coming......hihiih......
Pray to Allah to lead our life everyday....so that you are protected from any VICES and live in peace.....

Sincerely smile for Allah, to ur hubby, kids, family & closes friend...the rest ~ jst let it go ~ :-)